Thursday, November 13, 2014

Other people's grief

When she found out about Lydie, my sister told me several times about all the things she just bought her.  “Who gives a shit?”  I thought.  “You don’t think I’ve bought her stuff?”  I asked her.

Of course she knew I bought her stuff too.  I’m beginning to realize that those items – the Anne of Green Gables books, the clothes that match her daughter Lane’s – they represent all the dreams my sister had of her niece.  They are tangible representations of what we will never have.

I didn’t want to hear it at first.  I still have a tough time hearing it.  When the reason for other people’s pain has happened inside of you – Lydie died inside me – it’s hard not to feel responsible for that pain.  I don’t know what to do with their pain right now.


I am sure there will be a time when I am grateful that I am not the only one grieving my daughter.  But I am not at a point where I can handle other people’s grief.  My own is just too much right now. 

2 comments:

  1. i hear u... i felt same... i felt often i wanted to shout and say he was my child i bonded with him not u.... guess i felt my grief was bigger.... but now i realise everyone that new about ethan had dreams for him and they all grieve him

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  2. Charne,
    I'm so sorry to hear about Ethan too. I'm glad to hear breathing gets easier.

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