Thursday, November 13, 2014

Other people's grief

When she found out about Lydie, my sister told me several times about all the things she just bought her.  “Who gives a shit?”  I thought.  “You don’t think I’ve bought her stuff?”  I asked her.

Of course she knew I bought her stuff too.  I’m beginning to realize that those items – the Anne of Green Gables books, the clothes that match her daughter Lane’s – they represent all the dreams my sister had of her niece.  They are tangible representations of what we will never have.

I didn’t want to hear it at first.  I still have a tough time hearing it.  When the reason for other people’s pain has happened inside of you – Lydie died inside me – it’s hard not to feel responsible for that pain.  I don’t know what to do with their pain right now.

I am sure there will be a time when I am grateful that I am not the only one grieving my daughter.  But I am not at a point where I can handle other people’s grief.  My own is just too much right now. 


  1. i hear u... i felt same... i felt often i wanted to shout and say he was my child i bonded with him not u.... guess i felt my grief was bigger.... but now i realise everyone that new about ethan had dreams for him and they all grieve him

  2. Charne,
    I'm so sorry to hear about Ethan too. I'm glad to hear breathing gets easier.


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