Let's be clear about something.
I am REALLY angry.
I am really fucking mad.
I am angry that everyone else gets their perfect little families, and every word I hear, everywhere I go, everything I see seems to be throwing that in my face. I am angry that I will never be able to count my children as I load them into the car like everyone else. I am angry that I am forced to go on, forced to live without my daughter. I am angry that the world keeps on spinning, even though she's not here. I am angry that my son has to grow up without his sister. I am angry that we didn't do anything to deserve this. I am angry that my daughter was part of the .15% of babies who die because of a constricted cord. I am angry that I am going to spend the rest of my life missing my daughter, that we never get to feel like a complete family.
It all feels like such BULLSHIT.
And the most frustrating part?
I have no idea where to direct this anger.
I have no idea who I am angry at.