Monday, December 22, 2014


I got a couple of books from the library about heaven.  I'd like myself to believe that heaven does exist, that my little girl is there.  And happy and content and not hurting.

I'm working on this.

But then I wonder if she is lonely.  It hurts to think of her there without me.  I mean, I still have trouble Benji dropping off at daycare, especially if he cries.  How can I possibly think of this long, long life while I am here and she is there?  

My mom tells me that she's with the family who has already died.  I scoff.  I am supposed to feel comforted that she is with second cousins, cousins once removed, and great uncles?  I love all of them, but in all honesty, we don't even see my living family all that often anymore, and I don't think Lydia would have built a deep relationship with any of them had she lived. It doesn't offer me much comfort.  

But this does:

"They say that time in heaven is compared to 'the blink of an eye' for us on this earth.  Sometimes it helps me to think of my child running ahead of me through a beautiful field of wildflowers and butterflies; so happy and completely caught up in what she is doing that when she looks behind her, I'll already be there."    


  1. Not sure if you picked up Heaven is Real at the library, but I heard that can be a comforting one for families

  2. I did not care for Heaven is for Real, but I love the quote you've posted here. Heaven is hard for me (as a concept, I mean), but I do believe I'll see Eliza again.

  3. I just skimmed through Heaven is for Real - I had to skim because the author made me so freaking mad. As if his son deserved to live, so God gave him back to him.

    What's that say about my daughter?

    I'm with you Brooke.


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