Exactly 4 weeks ago, I wrote my daughter's name on some healthcare forms. Lydia Joanne Welliver. With her planned birth at the end of the year, I only had a couple days to make the changes to my healthcare and talked with HR about giving them the forms before I left the office for the last time before her birth.
It felt weird to write it out, as we had been keeping her name top-secret, and I thought to myself "Are you jinxing it?"
No, I rationalized, she'll be here soon and this is her name.
And I wrote it on the healthcare forms, which are now sitting on my office desk.
These are the things I think about now. Did I really jinx it?
Again, rationally, I know that my daughter did not die because I wrote her name on a form before she was born. But I even wondered if I was jinxing it and I still wrote it.
Those are going to be hard to look at in January when I finally have to return to work.