Wednesday, January 21, 2015

"How's the baby?"

Well, it finally happened, the moment I have been dreading for 11 weeks now.

A student came in to meet with me and he asked, "How's the baby?"
I didn't even know that he knew I was pregnant.
"The baby died," I responded.  "She was stillborn."

"Oh my God," he stammered.  "I'm so sorry."
"It's okay," I responded.  And in my head, I'm screaming, IT'S SO NOT OKAY!
"I mean, it's not okay.  It's very hard.  But it's okay that you asked.   You didn't know," I continued.

And then we discussed if he could possibly get a foreign language exemption because of his disability.

And when he finally left my office, I cried.
I'd like to go home now, and the day has just started.


  1. Oh Heather, I am so sorry. Such a difficult situation. Your job is a tough one to go back to at such an early stage.

  2. This breaks my heart. I am sure he felt awful, but that doesn't make your pain any less. Hang in there today. Love you!

  3. It's not OK. It will never be OK. But it sounds like you handled his comment with grace. You are stronger than you even realize. Love you. Looking forward to seeing you Friday.

  4. Ugh. You had your plant lady moment.

    I'm sorry, Heather. It's not OK. I wish you could go home too...

  5. Gah, I am always filling in the silence with "It's okay" or something similar and then regretting it all day. I'm proud of you for clarifying that statement. I will try to remember that next time.

  6. Yes,great job clarifying that it was ok to ask. And it's ok to be sorry. It's the saddest thing in the world. I will never tire of hearing people say they are sorry my baby died.

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