Friday, January 30, 2015

Rant of the Day

A couple of days ago, my first perinatologist called to tell me he'd been speaking to a few of his colleagues about me and he'd like to book me in for a second opinion with one of them.  (It's very strange to think about multiple very important, very educated doctors having conversations about me.  It's also strange that the very important, highly educated doctor calls me himself.   A couple times.  And takes the time to talk to me and answer my questions.  And asks how I am doing emotionally.  I am clearly no longer a regular patient. )  A second opinion?  Yes please.  He made the appointment, called me the next day to tell me about it. 

Here's where my rant begins.

Someone (the receptionist?) just calls me from this new doctor's office, to confirm my appointment, and the first thing she says to me is, "Are you having a baby?"

No.  No, I am not having a baby.  I was having a baby, but now I don't have a baby because my baby died.  Which is why I am being referred to this office.  Perhaps you could look at my file?

But it's the language that gets me here.  She didn't ask, "Are you pregnant?"  She asked, "Are you having a baby?"  I now know that pregnancy does not equal baby. She works in Maternal Fetal Medicine, so I am thinking she should probably know that too.  So fix your fucking language.  Start using medical terms.   If and when I get pregnant again, I will still pause at the question, "are you having a baby?" because the truth is, I don't know and neither do you.  I sure hope so.  But let's stop making promises and let's stop perpetuating the lie that a pregnancy ensures a live baby at the end of 9 months.

End rant.


  1. Not professional at all, in any type of medical office!

  2. I got a call less than a week after delivering our stillborn son asking in a very peppy tone, "we just wanted to see if you delivered! We will cancel your 40 week appointment if you did!"

    I was too shocked and wrecked with emotion not to say anything other than, "yeah, I did" but to this day wish I told them TO CHECK THE FUCKING FILE.

    Ugh. I'm sorry.


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