Thursday, January 8, 2015

The new normal

I keep hearing that Justin, Benji, and I need to find our "new normal."   What does life look for us now that our daughter and sister has died? 

My problem right now is that the new normal is looking a lot like the old normal.  And don't get me wrong, the old normal was great.  I'd even venture to say I was pretty happy and content.

But now? 
Now I have flashbacks and PTSD.  Now I have trouble concentrating.  Now I cry a lot.  Now I can't get out of bed in the morning.  Now I have no appetite and not much motivation for life.  Now I can barely talk with my own friends and hate seeing pregnant women and babies.
How's that for the new normal?

But to the outside world, we're right back where we were.  As I wrote before, the new normal seems to be the old normal with a giant fucking hole in the middle of it.

Is it possible that my daughter died and my life doesn't change? 


1 comment:

  1. Everything changes, and yet nothing changes. That's the tragedy of stillbirth, in a nutshell.

    It's so not fair the world keeps turning. And we have nothing to show for our babies except some cards and a memory box and the GINORMOUS hole in our hearts that's not visible to anyone.

    THIS is why you have to keep talking about her. It's all we can do, Heather.

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