Friday, February 6, 2015

Three Month Stillbirthday

Today, at 12:14 pm, 3 months exactly since my little girl entered this world still, I stopped running on the track and stepped outside onto the snow in my shorts and t-shirt.

I looked up at the sky and I talked to my girl.

I told her that I love her.  And that I miss her.  And that this life has been really hard without her.  I asked her to help me figure out how to continue to be her mama, even though she's not here.

And then I stepped back on to the track and kept putting one foot in front of the other.


6 comments:

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  2. Sending you lots of love. Lydie is lucky to have you as a Mom!

    (I tried to delete my post due to the picture, but it won't go away...sorry!)

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    1. Luckily these photos are small... don't worry about it. :)

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  3. You were running?! oh my god I think that's amazing. As in…amazing. That you didn't just sit on the couch staring into space. Because you could and no one would blame you.
    I love that you did this - and that you shared it. Real, raw, true, brave, gut-wrenching, and raw again. I just told mine out loud that I missed her through sobs yesterday (from the comfort of my living room, mind you), and its been 5 years.
    That you're not only putting one foot in front of the other every day in everything you do but LITERALLY doing so as well in the name of exercise (or sanity, whatever)…I'm in awe.

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  4. Putting one foot in front of the other takes a lot more strength than you realize. One step at a time, my friend.

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  5. This totally choked me up. Bc I remember that feeling of how do I do this? But you will figure out a way to mother her (you already are in writing this blog and speaking her name, although you may not realize how impactful it is yet). It takes time to comes to terms with this huge loss but I promise you will figure out some ways that are meaningful to you and your family.

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