Last night, a friend of mine from support group hosted a little get-together at her home. She also had a medium there.
When she invited us to come over to either meet with the medium or just hang out, I didn't think twice about the medium. Mostly, it freaked me out. And what if he didn't even mention Lydie?
Then she told us how he told her there was a young boy with her mom. And yes, her son died. And her mom died.
But I still wasn't considering it when I went last night.
And then all these women described their short meetings with him as amazing. They came up from the meetings in the basement in tears. One explained how he talked about things that only her mom, who is no longer living, would know.
On a whim, I thought "Why the hell not?" I didn't want to regret it later. I had never given much thought to whether I believe in mediums. But if I had a chance to connect with Lydie, how could I pass it by?
Welp, let's just say I should have passed it by.
He started out talking about a female. Your mom, he asked? No, I answered. Not my mom. Must be a grandmother, he continued. Nope, not one of my grandmothers, I responded. Whoever she is, she's very organized, he said.
I stared at him with a blank look. Organized?
It didn't get a whole lot better from there. He talked about one man who was very confused - my Opa, who had Alzheimers? Perhaps. I'm left thinking, he better not be confused in heaven.
Then, a family member who died from cancer? Nope. Not one. I have a lot of family members who have died too soon, but none from cancer.
I asked him if it would be helpful to know who I was hoping to connect with. I didn't want to lead him too much but I also couldn't walk out of there without a mention of her. I told him my daughter. He concentrated for a moment then said he wasn't connecting with her. Was she 5 or 6 when she died?, he asked. No, I said, stillborn. Oh.
It doesn't mean she's not there, he tells me.
I know that, I respond.
I don't know what I believe in. But I know I'm not going to let this man influence it.
The good news? He seemed genuinely sorry, said sometimes the spirits don't show up for him, said he couldn't let me pay him.
And I certainly did not insist on it.